the worst thing you could ever be called

and the world's record for longest ick list

What up sickos - I don’t have a good intro for my newsletter because by the time I write everything my mind is exhausted so we’re jumping right in.

MAKING THE CASE FOR FLIGHTS THAT INCLUDE LAYOVERS

all places i had to get to via a layover

As you - my 50 loyal readers - are thinking about summer vacations and travel overall, one thing I’d encourage is looking into destinations that don’t have any direct flights from your home airport. And going to a place where you have to take 1 or 2 additional flights to get there.

With that friction of having to take more flights and not even having the option to get to a city directly - you find yourself on the road less traveled. You are making the decision to go to a place that’s harder to get to - and therefore less explored, less crowded and less spoiled by western cultural influence.

There’s a freeing quality to this type of travel. You’re more at the whim of your intuition without a checklist of places you must see or Best Of lists. Maybe I’m over romanticizing it but travel in a lot of ways feels so unpersonalized.

Every restaurant, store, coffee shop, club, bar, activity is so influenced by TikToks, CN Traveler, Goop lists, Amigo app - whatever it is you use. When’s the last time you stumbled into a spot because you had a good gut feeling about it or it looked cute across the street from your hotel?

Of course if you’re a corporate animal like me every second of OOO is precious and therefore traveling somewhere there are connections involved is hard to justify but just some food for thought next time you think about Tuscany in July or Aspen in February.

IMAGINE THE WORST THING YOU COULD BE CALLED - THEN IMAGINE SOMETHING EVEN WORSE —

pipsqueaks

Did you think of the word “pipsqueak”?

No? Okay well think about it. It is the worst insult of all time.

If you’re small, the person calling you pipsqueak is addressing you as such to belittle you. If you’re tall, the person calling you pipsqueak is addressing you as such also to belittle you but also doing it ironically.

Pipsqueak makes you feel unimportant, helpless and pathetic.

Will you look at these synonyms? A NONENTITY - somehow you’re a legal nothing? A GNAT or an INSECT?

Once you’re called pipsqueak, there’s no recovering from it unless you start a physical fight. But the biggest caveat, which I’m sure is obvious, is that you have to win the fight. If you don’t win, you prove your insulter right and will forever be known as a pipsqueak that proved you were a pipsqueak.

For my friends, I hope you never find yourself in this situation. In fact, even for my enemies or my one archenemies (u know who u are), I hope you never find yourself in this situation.

Now onto more pleasant things :)

THE LONGEST ICK LIST YOU’LL EVER SEE

My big disclaimer here is that I think icks are a really bad thing to bring into any relationship with friends or lovers. BUT - this list is so funny. It was compiled between the years of 2022-2023. Maybe we dipped into 2024 a little bit but really we haven’t added any since the top of 2025. JK this note was last updated in 2024.

Such a funny thing to look back on - people would be doing these specific things and I’d pull out my notes app and start taking notes. That’s why many are very specific. Shout out to my friend Maddie who inspired the first ick list and likely contributed to many things on this list.

ANYWAY - as someone that’s ANTI-ICK’s here are all my icks. God can you imagine the list if I was pro-icks.

• saying the word vibes more than 2X in a conversation

• checking bags

• paying for instagram verification

• including cities in ur social media bio

• gold chains unless you are Connell’s chain

• skinny jeans and tight clothes

• not carrying cash

• talking about startup myths

• drinking out of straws

• drinking bubble tea

• slurping

• always wanting dessert

• sucking food or salt off one’s fingers

• bad posture

• tiptoeing

• mouth breathing

• not drinking water

• wearing neck pillows on flights

• wispy facial hair

• celebrating valentine’s day

• smiling too much

• eating a pita sandwich (half moon shape only - full circle pitas ok)

• telling the workout instructor your injuries before the workout class begins

• having sunglasses on top of your head

• not being able to handle spicy food

• graphic tees

• massive water bottles

• losing balance on the subway

• ballroom dancing

• waving

• pretending to be the human speaking version of an animal

• unnatural winking

• asking questions in a public forum

• walking around with both hands in backpockets

• Dropping something then getting on your hands and knees to look for it

• scratching your back then examining your fingernails

• smelling your hands after scratching any part of your body

• when youre trying to be discreet about itching your balls by doing it while having your hands in your pockets

• sitting backwards in a chair (reminiscent of a teacher trying to be cool)

• when someone has to get from the back seat of the car to the front seat and instead of walking out of the door and going around they climb over the middle console

• being a picky eater

• getting sunburnt

• having a really white bum

• saying any of these words

  • indeed

  • sowwy

  • wa-wa when referring to water

  • m’lady

  • FriYay

  • Humpday

Okay, we’re done here. Bye.